Pleasing yourself in your art

A different energy

Historically, I’ve had a default setting. It’s called “Try a little bit harder.” Go above and beyond. Over-deliver. Maximum effort. Try to please people. This ‘good girl’ energy can sneak into all sorts of areas of life.

In the last few years I’ve become much more aware of this tendency of mine and how easily it can creep into my art practice if I let it.

The older I become, the more I move away from ‘good girl’ and instead I want to fully embody ‘joyful woman’.

Deeper not harder

At the moment, I’m in an experimental phase in my work. I’m definitely trying things out, following ideas, letting things overlap and embracing the ambiguity.

But I’m not doing any of it with a “try harder” energy. I want to try many different things, yes, be experimental, yes, but I don’t want anything to feel harder, or to be about force or pushing through.

I just don’t want to strive or try harder. I don’t want anything in my life to feel soaked in strenuousness, I want to welcome in ease and flow, rather than effort and force.

I’d like to go deeper, perhaps, but not try harder. It is an important nuance for me.

Art is a good teacher

I’m also not trying to please an imagined audience. I gave that up several years ago. I’m trying to please myself. To enjoy the process and enjoy the outcome. That’s it.

Art making can be a very good teacher about life. It can show us how we approach things in general.

The sensibilities, the vulnerabilities, the conditioning, the values we carry can all come along with us into the studio.

Acrylic paint on paper

Acrylic painted on paper

Some recent pages in my sketchbook

Looking back at older sketchbooks and seeing what I’m enjoying

Inside my sketchbook

Sketchbook explorations

Past and current work on my desk

Ease and experimentation

I’ve found that the things I seek in my art are often the same things I seek in my life: Joy. Expression. Delight. Playfulness. Wonder. Boldness. Freedom. A kind of unapologetic-ness.

And the way I invite these things into the studio is not by pushing myself harder or trying harder. If my art starts to feel like a place where I’m proving something or testing my capabilities, it stifles the very thing I seek.

Don’t try harder

I’ve learned that if I give things enough time and space, if I let ideas evolve rather than trying to neaten them too quickly or force anything, if I give myself the grace to mess about, ideas usually begin to organise themselves.

So the reminder I’m giving myself at the moment is simple:

Don’t bring a “try harder” energy.

Bring inquisitiveness.

Bring play.

Delight yourself. Invite in a sense of wonder.

And stay with it for long enough...keep going.

Looking back through my creations…